Modern Family

Dad, Mom saw you on TV. You're dead. Here's the thing. The kiss cam is only supposed to be for the enjoyment of the people at the game. They never show that on TV. What people do in the privacy of their own sports arena should be their own business.

Nobody likes a crying baby on a flight. It's it's very stressful. Yeah, last year I flew back from New York next to a baby who was very upset the entire flight and it was hell I was on that flight with you and I don't recall. Oh I get it. You're talking about me. It's very funny Yeah, we couldn't get tickets to Billy Elliot. All he wanted to do was dance. That's my story

Oh, is this Lily? Oh, yes, it is. Hey, honey. Say hi to the baby. My daddy. Oh. No, no, Lily. No, Lily. He's fine. Daddy's not sad. Daddy, daddy. I'm bored. I know, sweetie, but daddies are talking

Boys, what do you think about my costume for tonight? You look dynamite, honey. I thank you. I am Princess Fiona. So does that make me a prince? Do I have to keep track of a crown all night? No, you're Shrek, the ogre. You mean that big green thing? No, I don't want to walk around all night with an ugly rubber mask. No, you just need to paint your face green and that's it. Ouch.

Dad, Mom saw you on TV. You're dead. Here's the thing. The kiss cam is only supposed to be for the enjoyment of the people at the game. They never show that on TV. What people do in the privacy of their own sports arena should be their own business.

Nobody likes a crying baby on a flight. It's it's very stressful. Yeah, last year I flew back from New York next to a baby who was very upset the entire flight and it was hell I was on that flight with you and I don't recall. Oh I get it. You're talking about me. It's very funny Yeah, we couldn't get tickets to Billy Elliot. All he wanted to do was dance. That's my story

Oh, is this Lily? Oh, yes, it is. Hey, honey. Say hi to the baby. My daddy. Oh. No, no, Lily. No, Lily. He's fine. Daddy's not sad. Daddy, daddy. I'm bored. I know, sweetie, but daddies are talking

Boys, what do you think about my costume for tonight? You look dynamite, honey. I thank you. I am Princess Fiona. So does that make me a prince? Do I have to keep track of a crown all night? No, you're Shrek, the ogre. You mean that big green thing? No, I don't want to walk around all night with an ugly rubber mask. No, you just need to paint your face green and that's it. Ouch.